It’s Okay To Be Selfish

It’s something I have just recently realised: it’s okay to be selfish.

Sounds awful, doesn’t it? Makes me seem like a prick who is more interested in his own self than anything else in the world. And you know what? Sometimes, that is perfectly fine.

I used to live my life thinking about how my decisions will affect this person or that person or even how it might not be the proper thing to do. Still, I managed to do things. But they were tepid, safe, unlike me at all.

I used to say to myself: shut up, you don’t matter. You shouldn’t think of yourself. Ever.

When I was a teenager, I did my best to not rock the boat with my friends. I was a confident boy but still would choose to avoid pissing people off if I could. When I think about it now, it makes me angry that I wasn’t more myself around my friends. Coulda, woulda, shoulda, I know.

My reaction now to how I was back then

But now? Now I want to bitch-slap myself into having more sense in my brain. I want to say to that uptight moron: Don’t belittle my desires. Don’t make me feel like shit for wanting something good for myself. I deserve to do what’s right for me.

Being an artist is selfish, apparently. At least, according to my old self. Well, I say, screw you old self, I am an artist and I am proud of it. You know why? Because it makes me want to sing from the fucking rooftops. I wake up everyday happy to be alive.

That’s not being selfish, that’s doing what is right for me.

I can see this in my head:

Took me long enough

You’d think common sense is well… common, right? Well, not for everybody. Especially me. I have a lot of common sense when I listen to people I care about and when they ask for my opinion on things. But when it comes to my own life? I always seem to forgo common sense and choose the beige option. Fuck that. I’m done with that sort of thinking.

Now, I choose what sparks a fire in my chest.

I have decided to apply this mindset to many other aspects of my life. I have gotten a better set-up for my Fortress of Solitude (that’s how I call my office). It was expensive and not the reasonable decision if I consider my artistic endeavours ‘selfish’.

And you know what? Screw it. I did what I did and I absolutely love my new set-up. Do you know how awesome it is to feel genuine excitement walking into my Fortress of Solitude? I now have a creative space that is me. When I stop to appreciate what’s around me, it gives me goosebumps. That’s an awesome feeling!

Feeling that child-like joy again!

This decision has led me to stop feeling guilty for spending most of my days writing or recording videos. It is a space I constantly want to be in. I am thriving in it.

It is these decisions, no matter how big or small, that contribute to how you approach life. I have decided that it is more than okay to listen to my heart and to fulfill my own desires, no matter how silly/stupid/unreasonable they may seem to others.

I love this new mindset and it makes me fucking happy.

Selfishly Unleashing My Creativity