It’s Okay To Be Selfish

It’s something I have just recently realised: it’s okay to be selfish.

What a selfish person I am

Sounds awful, doesn’t it? Makes me seem like a prick who is more interested in his own self than anything else in the world. And you know what? Sometimes, that is perfectly fine.

I used to live my life thinking about how my decisions will affect this person or that person or even how it might not be the proper thing to do. Still, I managed to do things. But they were tepid, safe, unlike me at all.

I used to say to myself: shut up, you don’t matter. You shouldn’t think of yourself. Ever.

When I was a teenager, I did my best to not rock the boat with my friends. I was a confident boy but still would choose to avoid pissing people off if I could. When I think about it now, it makes me angry that I wasn’t more myself around my friends. Coulda, woulda, shoulda, I know.

I really was like that
My reaction now to how I was back then

But now? Now I want to bitch-slap myself into having more sense in my brain. I want to say to that uptight moron: Don’t belittle my desires. Don’t make me feel like shit for wanting something good for myself. I deserve to do what’s right for me.

Being an artist is selfish, apparently. At least, according to my old self. Well, I say, screw you old self, I am an artist and I am proud of it. You know why? Because it makes me want to sing from the fucking rooftops. I wake up everyday happy to be alive.

That’s not being selfish, that’s doing what is right for me.

I can see this in my head:

Achievement Unlocked
Took me long enough ^^’

You’d think common sense is well… common, right? Well, not for everybody. Especially me. I have a lot of common sense when I listen to people I care about and when they ask for my opinion on things. But when it comes to my own life? I always seem to forgo common sense and choose the beige option. Fuck that. I’m done with that sort of thinking.

Now, I choose what sparks a fire in my chest.

I have decided to apply this mindset to many other aspects of my life. I have gotten a better set-up for my Fortress of Solitude (that’s how I call my office). It was expensive and not the reasonable decision if I consider my artistic endeavours ‘selfish’.

And you know what? Screw it. I did what I did and I absolutely love my new set-up. Do you know how awesome it is to feel genuine excitement walking into my Fortress of Solitude? I now have a creative space that is me. When I stop to appreciate what’s around me, it gives me goosebumps. That’s an awesome feeling!

Hurray
Feeling that child-like joy again!

This decision has led me to stop feeling guilty for spending most of my days writing or recording videos. It is a space I constantly want to be in. I am thriving in it.

It is these decisions, no matter how big or small, that contribute to how you approach life. I have decided that it is more than okay to listen to my heart and to fulfill my own desires, no matter how silly/stupid/unreasonable they may seem to others.

I love this new mindset and it makes me fucking happy.

Joy
Selfishly Unleashing My Creativity

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “It’s Okay To Be Selfish

  1. I have always thought it’s okay to look after No. 1, Raph. It’s also good to be considerate of others (at least that seems to be what I harp on about to my kids!) The answer I think is – find a balance – like everything. It’s not selfish to do things you enjoy… but other people in your life also need your time, you know?

    Like

    1. Thanks Lily! I think as long as you don’t overlook your own happiness and mental health, it is important to also think of those you care about. And in turn, they will give the time you need to look after yourself and be the best that you can be. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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