Day 1 / Hot Desk Fellowship

Today is a special day.

I am starting my Hot Desk Fellowship at the Centre For Stories. What’s that you might ask? Well, it is an opportunity for writers to have a dedicated space for their creative work. You also get opportunities to attend events, workshops, etc.

How I feel inside about this awesome opportunity!

When I was told I had won it, I was gobsmacked. It came at the right time though. I’ve been having a lot of ideas but there was always something happening. Something that required my attention.

I was getting distracted.

I have a space at home for my creative work but it can be difficult sometimes to motivate myself to stick to just the one thing for the day or even for a couple of hours. My mind is always racing with ideas and I sometimes can’t focus.

I’ve got to be laser-focused!

With this Hot Desk Fellowship, on top of all the cool things that come with it, I get a place where I have to focus. It’s a lovely open space with light and books around. Ca me donne envie, mais tellement! When I’m using some French you know I’m pretty hyped up! That little thing means that where I am right now is making me want to work.

I often write up some scenes as a warm-up before getting deep into a work-in-progress (novel or short story). I guess every writer has his own quirks when it comes to his craft. So today instead of writing a mock scene, I thought I would write some words about this fellowship.

I aim to be super productive today.

Get something meaty done so I can feel a sense of accomplishment. The good thing is that there are other people too here. There’s a girl across the room from me who also won the Hot Desk Fellowship. We are both working on our own thing and in silence but there’s this common creative energy in the air and that’s just fucking awesome.

I summon thy creative energy

But anyway, time to finish this off and get to work on my WIP. I am super excited for it as it is one of those stories that seem to want to pour out of me. This is good.

I’m good.

 

If you’re interested in finding out more about Perth’s Centre For Stories and the many amazing things they do, check out their website at centreforstories.com. 

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An Old Thing But A True Thing

I don’t know about you but when I read, I tend to space out. A lot.

I’m the kind of reader who can burn through a whole chapter but then spend two hours on the first page of another chapter. It usually happens when a word or a particular line triggers an idea in my head and without meaning to, the idea rolls on with or without me having much say in it.

Thinking of my own stories while reading

This is one of the reasons I love reading. The first reason is of course for enjoyment and for escapism, like a lot of readers out there. But the other reason is the way a story can lead me to another story of my own.

The thing is the ideas that do form in my head often have no link whatsoever to what I am reading at the time. Reading is, in essence, a gateway to my own creative space. That’s some deep stuff right there but it is the truth.

A word. A line of dialogue. That’s all it takes.

A writer needs to read. It’s an old thing but it is a true thing.

My imagination and creativity are nourished through various means but one of the biggest slices of said nourishment comes from reading. If anything, to be taken on a voyage in another writer’s story is an experience in itself.

You admire what others do and sometimes you find out what you wouldn’t do as a writer. 

That’s the beauty of it as well, sometimes you read a story and you think to yourself ‘I wouldn’t have done it like that.’ Just because it works for one writer does not mean it will work for all writers. Reading helps shape your craft and it gets you closer to where you’re meant to be.

You learn from the good and you most definitely learn from the bad.

There are authors you connect with more than any other authors. I know I often pick up a book just because I know I like the way that particular author writes. The story might not be the best but the writing will carry me through.

Then there are writers you stumble upon who make you wish you never met them in the first place.

Does this mean it was a waste of time to read their work? Of course not. 

Because even from these books that do not connect with me, I learn a lot. For example I could be reading a description in a story and I would think, ‘Damn, that’s an awful lot of time to spend describing a brick in the wall. Eesh! Not doing that. Ever.’

I love reading, especially when it makes me space out because that space is a great place to be. I feel alive in that space. I love how words can cause such a range of reactions from me. From all parts of me. From the reader to the writer while not forgetting the child who loved reading all the stories in the school library.

You read, you learn, you write. 😉

 

Can You Defeat Time?

Time is never on my side, I feel.

The clock is ticking… >.>

I wish I had more time to do more things. I like to invest time into whatever I do. I can spend hours editing a scene or a video. It’s not that I suck at time management, it is simply how it is. I cannot take shortcuts because then it would lessen the quality of my work. So how to deal with this?

How do I not go crazy over the fact that the clock is continuously ticking and I’m always feeling like I’m playing catch-up?

It takes getting used to. I have stopped thinking I can outsmart time or even beat it. I can be more efficient with it but I cannot pretend to defeat it. So now I run with it and too bad if it seems like I’m lagging behind. Truth is as long as I know how I do spend that time, then it’s all good. I have created a balance in my creative work so that I am equally invested in all of my endeavours as such.

I will do everything… at once!

I am always writing something, even bits and pieces of scenes or ideas, I am always writing. Even when I play games, I use that to produce videos for my YouTube channel. No time is wasted when it comes to my creativity. I also remember to switch off and zone out with a book (as in reading for pleasure and nothing else) or in front of the TV.

Only a year ago, I was always in a constant state of panic because I kept thinking I was running out of time to do what I wanted.

How was I going to achieve all of my goals and ambitions in the time that I have? It was torture. I was torturing myself every day. I felt guilty whenever I did something that had no connection to my dreams.

Now I know that time does not care and does not have a personal vendetta against me.

The clock keeps on ticking but it is up to me to decide how I interpret the seconds going by. I am not panicked anymore. I am motivated. Motivated to use the time that I have to feel super awesome about what I do. I am grateful for the fact that I do have time to do the things I want to do. Will I achieve everything that I want? Will I realise all of my ambitions?

It’s not up to time. It’s up to me.

 

It’s Okay To Be Selfish

It’s something I have just recently realised: it’s okay to be selfish.

Sounds awful, doesn’t it? Makes me seem like a prick who is more interested in his own self than anything else in the world. And you know what? Sometimes, that is perfectly fine.

I used to live my life thinking about how my decisions will affect this person or that person or even how it might not be the proper thing to do. Still, I managed to do things. But they were tepid, safe, unlike me at all.

I used to say to myself: shut up, you don’t matter. You shouldn’t think of yourself. Ever.

When I was a teenager, I did my best to not rock the boat with my friends. I was a confident boy but still would choose to avoid pissing people off if I could. When I think about it now, it makes me angry that I wasn’t more myself around my friends. Coulda, woulda, shoulda, I know.

My reaction now to how I was back then

But now? Now I want to bitch-slap myself into having more sense in my brain. I want to say to that uptight moron: Don’t belittle my desires. Don’t make me feel like shit for wanting something good for myself. I deserve to do what’s right for me.

Being an artist is selfish, apparently. At least, according to my old self. Well, I say, screw you old self, I am an artist and I am proud of it. You know why? Because it makes me want to sing from the fucking rooftops. I wake up everyday happy to be alive.

That’s not being selfish, that’s doing what is right for me.

I can see this in my head:

Took me long enough

You’d think common sense is well… common, right? Well, not for everybody. Especially me. I have a lot of common sense when I listen to people I care about and when they ask for my opinion on things. But when it comes to my own life? I always seem to forgo common sense and choose the beige option. Fuck that. I’m done with that sort of thinking.

Now, I choose what sparks a fire in my chest.

I have decided to apply this mindset to many other aspects of my life. I have gotten a better set-up for my Fortress of Solitude (that’s how I call my office). It was expensive and not the reasonable decision if I consider my artistic endeavours ‘selfish’.

And you know what? Screw it. I did what I did and I absolutely love my new set-up. Do you know how awesome it is to feel genuine excitement walking into my Fortress of Solitude? I now have a creative space that is me. When I stop to appreciate what’s around me, it gives me goosebumps. That’s an awesome feeling!

Feeling that child-like joy again!

This decision has led me to stop feeling guilty for spending most of my days writing or recording videos. It is a space I constantly want to be in. I am thriving in it.

It is these decisions, no matter how big or small, that contribute to how you approach life. I have decided that it is more than okay to listen to my heart and to fulfill my own desires, no matter how silly/stupid/unreasonable they may seem to others.

I love this new mindset and it makes me fucking happy.

Selfishly Unleashing My Creativity